This time, you left and
I could hear my heart ripped out
feel stone and steel
crushed into a tomb,
drowning me in that day
when you mapped your directions.
I can’t stop dreaming or
dream enough to stop my awareness
of flesh tearing from my present
recalling what used to beat and breathe.
Of course, I considered nothing
in those days and those moments
when your aim was to make me laugh.
You aimed so well, that I let go easily, then,
without guilt, with the world ahead
but now,
I awake disturbed
I’ve seen you there
in between and not aware.
In my dreams, I grab you
resigned to hold on
to tell you what happened
since you don’t seem to know.
I try to warn you,
rescue you?
but that’s all for me.
It’s my dream and my head
and I know
somewhere inside, I’m caught
between here
and a place that’s gone
that was full of things to come.
I’ve been pushing myself back to that place
purposely, hopelessly
and when I dream
It’s me, not you
who’s lost.